Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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