tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
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Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
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