It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I think my nap took me to another dimension
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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