Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
