Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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