spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
