he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
