Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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