So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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