you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
