ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize