i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize