he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Randomize
