He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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