Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
