I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
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