ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
