No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
