Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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