who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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