And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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