I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i wish my penis had a tongue
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
