whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
