so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
