is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
