I CAN MOONWALK!
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Randomize
