how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
