Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize