how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i may or may not be watching the land before time
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
