ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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