All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
