well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
wow bdsm is so cute
I had to cum in my sink.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
