Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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