Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
