i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
