Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
