he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
