I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
