Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
