Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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