I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
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Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.