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• (434): View more from Virginia

  He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text

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• (206): View more from Washington

  when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...

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  27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (530): View more from California

  As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.

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• (812): View more from Indiana

  well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.

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• (318): View more from Louisiana

  Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.

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  19 Groupies Confess What It’s Really Like To Hook Up With Famous Rockstars

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (623): View more from Arizona

  Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.

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• (727): View more from Florida

  I'm too stoned to come over for sex

  (813): View more from Florida

  Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock

  (727): View more from Florida

  I'll be right over

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already

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• (339): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?

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• (315): View more from New York

  He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick

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• (315): View more from New York

  We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."

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