It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
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This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.