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• (505): View more from New Mexico

  My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.

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• (971): View more from Oregon

  I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.

  (971): View more from Oregon

  Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.

  (1-480): View more from Arizona

  Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?

  (480): View more from Arizona

  You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are

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  Some Animals Are Total Jerks (10+ pics)

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"

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• (831): View more from California

  You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint

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• (925): View more from California

  she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat

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  23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know

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• (505): View more from New Mexico

  All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.

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• (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going

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• (206): View more from Washington

  I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.

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