New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.