My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Some Animals Are Total Jerks (10+ pics)
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.