Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.