Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Such a big mess for such a small penis
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
