Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
of course. lets lasso hookers.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
