Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
How naked do you want me to be?
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