just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I woke up under a house in Key West
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
