you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
