you guys were way drunker than both of me
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
