Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
