I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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