it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Randomize
