I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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