Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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