I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
