Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize