dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
