If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
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Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
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