Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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