just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
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