yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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