I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
