Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
So vagazzling was a success
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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