he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
