He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
