I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
