And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
